We tend to read this Scripture reluctantly as if we have to swallow our medicine. We resist forgiving others. We may look for a loophole: “I am at the stage of rebuking.” or “He has not repented sincerely enough.” We are also content with staying with our one-sided conclusion of the circumstances by which we can justify our attitudes and actions.
My mother died in 1996, and my father died in 2006. They were divorced while I was in college. As an only child, it was a little difficult for me to see both my Dad and my Mom thereafter. Naturally, at almost every meeting, each defended own position and pulled for my support.
I loved both of them, but I still was content with staying with my one-sided conclusion of the circumstances by which I justified my attitudes and actions. Last night, I had a dream which revealed an improper attitude to my Dad. This morning, I also remembered an improper attitude to my Mom.
In my dream, my Dad was near death, suffering from severe Alzheimer’s. However, he still was willing to come to my elementary school to see some school program. He was struggling to act normal enough to endure through the program. But, he embarrassed me, and I sat a short distance away.
This morning, I remembered how I could not understand why my Mom would not exercise and lose more weight. She was not fat, just overweight, but I was too critical in any event.
I tended to think that my Dad and my Mom should act just like I do. I knew such a small fraction of the difficulties that both faced, but I was more concerned about how their behavior affected me. For these attitudes and actions, and for many other improper attitudes and actions, I repent and need forgiveness.
I still remember accepting an invitation from a very shy and plain girl in middle school to go to an event with her. I later told her without any good reason that I would not go with her. That memory still haunts me from time to time, and each time that I think of it, I repent.
My attitudes and actions seemed so justified at the time. But, they were not right.
By no means do I want to infer that these were my biggest sins. But, they do come to my mind now, and they do illustrate how we can be deceived by our own one-sided conclusion of the circumstances.
Each meeting with each person is important. Not only are our actions alone important, our attitudes are also important. We need more forgiveness than what we think.
Remember the story of the king who forgave much and the slave who did not forgive.
“21 Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
23 “For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves.
24 “When he had begun to settle them, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
25 “But since he did not have the means to repay, his lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made.
26 “So the slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.’
27 “And the lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt.
28 “But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe.’
29 “So his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, ‘Have patience with me and I will repay you.’
30 “But he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed.
31 “So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their lord all that had happened.
32 “Then summoning him, his lord said to him, ‘You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.
33 ‘Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, in the same way that I had mercy on you?’
34 “And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him.
35 “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart.” Matthew 18:21-35.
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”
Reformed Doctrine Daily Devotions 